HANDLING PEER PRESSURE

HANDLING PEER PRESSURE
 

INTRODUCTION:

Peers can pressure you—or sharpen you. Peers can either positively or negatively impact one's thoughts, behaviors, and decisions. Peer pressure can lead to conformity, encouraging us to engage in behaviors or activities that we might not otherwise choose. By surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive peers and developing self-awareness and resilience, we can harness the benefits of peer relationships and avoid the risks of negative peer pressure.

 

ISSUES:

 

1. Who are one’s peers? Who were the peers of the three Hebrew children? See Daniel 2:48-49 and 3:2-3.

 

"Peers are a powerful force in shaping our attitudes, behaviors, and values. The company you keep can either elevate or depreciate your life. Peer pressure is a mighty force, and it can be either a positive or negative influence. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Choose wisely. It's better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction."

 

KEY POINTS:

Peers:

Default - Associates

Choice - Friends

 

PRESSURE:

Influence - inevitable

Proactive approach and strategic - your identity, influence them

Choice - choose first and right, where you have the choice

Don't be negatively pressured - Spiritual & Personal integrity

 

TYPES OF PEERS:

Family Peers, Associates Peers, Group Peers, Age Peers, Interest Peers, School Peers, Professional Peers , Community Peers, Neighborhood Peers

 

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Definition of Peers: Peers are individuals of equal standing who share similar experiences, challenges, or roles. They can be a source of support, encouragement, and influence in one's spiritual journey.

 Spiritual Integrity Among Peers: - The three Hebrew children stood firm in their faith, even when commanded to worship an image set up by the king, demonstrating the importance of spiritual integrity.

 

2. What is meant by the phrase harmful peer pressure? Give an example of harmful peer pressure from your own experience.

 

 "The ugly reality is that peer pressure reaches its greatest intensity at just the age when kids tend to be most insensitive. Peer pressure can be a powerful force; choose to be the force of your own destiny. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. Why fit in when you were born to stand out?

At any given point you can release your greatest self. Don't let anyone hold you back. Don't let anyone dilute you. Don't be peer pressured into being less than you are. The more you give into peer pressure, the more people will ask you to do what they want to do. The less you give into it, the less they will ask."

 

KEY POINTS:

Identity - who are your peers? (Good or bad: Reproduce similar identity)

Harmful: Source - devil

Harmful Pressure - evil pressure

Bait  - often appealing

Trap - captured, helpless, addicted

Aggressive Pressure - compelling and Forceful

Avoid the bait than to struggle inside the trap

Trapped: Don't try natural resistance, get Spiritual resistance

First line of victory - discernment, avoidance

 

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The Impact of Negative Influences

   - Peers can have a significant impact on our decisions, leading us either towards growth or towards behaviors that conflict with our beliefs.

    1 Corinthians 15:33: "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."

Examples of Harmful Peer Pressure:

Individuals may face situations where they are pressured to participate in activities that conflict with their faith, such as substance abuse, dishonesty, or engaging in immoral behaviors.

The Strength of Conviction: Standing firm against harmful peer pressure requires conviction and strength in one’s beliefs. Recognizing the source of pressure can help one resist it.

 Ephesians 6:10-11: "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."

Wisdom in Choosing Friends: The Bible emphasizes the importance of choosing companions wisely, as they can impact one’s spiritual journey.

    Proverbs 13:20: "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed."

Courage to Stand Alone: At times, it is necessary to stand alone or counter popular opinion in order to remain true to one’s values.

    Joshua 24:15: "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

 

3. How can harmful peer pressure be resisted?

 

 “Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong. Believe in yourself and you'll be unstoppable. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously. Saying no doesn't mean you're rude or unkind; it means you're setting boundaries. Assertiveness is not aggression; it's confidence in expressing your needs and boundaries. Speak up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in."

 

KEY POINTS:

Introduce yourself - choose your friends, associates and influencers

Take the stand, very first time

It begins with you - Spiritual identity

Christian conduct and virtues as a lifestyle

Define Harmful - knowledge, using Spiritual guidance

Harmful influence appears innocent -

Don't negotiate - NO, not maybe or not sure

Avoid double identity

Avoid diplomacy - don't play politics/game

Making choices/decisions? - God's word and Sprit, final

 

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Seek Divine Guidance

 Accessing God’s Wisdom: Prayer and seeking God’s direction can provide clarity and strength to withstand peer pressure.

    James 1:5: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

Know Your Identity in Christ

Understanding Worth: Recognizing that your identity is rooted in Christ helps reinforce self-worth and reduces the need for external validation from peers.

    2 Corinthians 5:17: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Build a Supportive Community

Fellowship with Like-minded Individuals: Surrounding yourself with supportive and encouraging friends who share your values can help strengthen your resolve.

    Hebrews 10:24-25: "And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."

Know and Internalize Scripture

Scriptural Foundation: Memorizing and reflecting on scripture empowers you to counter negative influences and affirm your beliefs.

    Psalm 119:11: "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee."

Practice Assertiveness

Responding with Confidence: Learning to assertively say "no" when pressured can be a powerful tool. Communicating your boundaries clearly can deter negative influences.

    Proverbs 28:1: "The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion."

Stay Focused on Your Purpose

Reminding Yourself of Your Goals: Keeping your spiritual goals and purpose at the forefront helps resist distractions that come from peer pressure.

    Philippians 3:14: "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Embrace Accountability

Finding an Accountability Partner: Partnering with someone who shares your values and can encourage you in times of weak will can significantly bolster your efforts to resist pressure.

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

 

Reflect on Consequences

Weighing Outcomes: Thoughtfully considering the potential consequences of giving in to peer pressure can provide motivation to resist.

    Galatians 6:7: "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

 

4. Is there such a thing as positive peer pressure? Explain. Give an example of positive peer pressure from your own experience.

 

QUOTES: “Surround yourself with people who are better than you and empower yourself to be better. Positive peer pressure can be a powerful force for good, encouraging us to strive for excellence and reach our full potential. The right kind of peer pressure can inspire us to push beyond our limits and achieve greatness.  When you're surrounded by people who are passionate about what they do, it's infectious. You can't help but be inspired. Positive peer pressure can motivate us to work harder, aim higher, and dream bigger. The people you surround yourself with can either bring you up or bring you down. Choose wisely.”

 

KEY POINTS:

Positive peer pressure - good influence, persuading, supportive,

Iron sharpeneth iron

Mentors - you are mentoring somebody, directly or indirectly

Constituency - somebody is watching and copying you

 

AREAS OF POSITIVE PEER PRESSURE:

Diligent student of the word of God

Prayerful

Service

Holiness - practical applications

Consecration and Commitments

Lifestyle

Conversations

Family and home

Interpersonal relationships

 

You can be the positive peer pressure

 

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Positive Peer Pressure: Positive peer pressure refers to the influence that peers exert to encourage individuals to engage in beneficial behaviors, make good choices, and pursue spiritual and personal growth.

Encouragement to Grow Spiritually: Positive peer pressure can motivate us to deepen our faith and live according to biblical principles, fostering growth and accountability.

  Proverbs 27:17: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."

Inspiration to Pursue Righteousness: Friends and peers who model righteous behavior can inspire others to strive for holiness and make choices that align with God’s word.

    1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do."

 Support in Challenging Times: Positive peer pressure can provide emotional and spiritual support during challenging times, encouraging perseverance in faith.

    Ecclesiastes 4:10: "For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

Creating Accountability: Positive peer pressure can establish accountability among friends, motivating individuals to remain true to their commitments and values.

    Proverbs 15:22: "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established."

 

5. What guidelines can you use to determine whether the peer pressure you experience is positive or harmful?

 

"The intention behind the pressure is what matters. Is it coming from a place of love and support, or is it driven by selfish motives? Positive peer pressure comes from people who want to see you succeed and grow, while harmful peer pressure comes from those who want to control or manipulate you. The outcome of the pressure is a good indicator of whether it's positive or harmful. Does it lead to personal growth and improvement, or does it lead to negative consequences?

Pay attention to how you feel when you're around certain people or in certain situations. Do you feel uplifted and supported, or do you feel anxious and pressured? Consider the character and motivations of the people exerting pressure on you. Are they trustworthy and supportive, or are they manipulative and controlling?”

 

KEY POINTS:

The Word - contrary to God's law? (if it is contrary, it is harmful)

The Sprit - God speaks "This is the way..."

Pray - When in doubts, consult God

Who is speaking? - Know and discern God's voice

The inputs - are they godly?

The output - does it glorify God, Edification, good testimony?

 

Confused? Out of a desire to rubber stamp selfish interests brings confusion

God will not put us in doubt - if you are willing

Satan is very aggressive - good indication you're heading for trouble

Spiritual integrity test: Word, Spirit, Conscience, Input, output/result

 

6. How can resisting harmful peer pressure help a Christian? How do you think it helped the three Hebrew children in Daniel 1?

 

“When you stand up for yourself and resist harmful pressure, you build confidence in your ability to make decisions and assert your needs. Resisting harmful pressure helps develop resilience and coping skills, enabling you to navigate challenging situations with greater ease. When you resist harmful pressure, you assert your independence and take control of your life. When you resist harmful pressure, you communicate your worth and value to others, which can lead to more respectful and fulfilling relationships.”

 

KEY POINTS:

Spiritual warfare - Satan is always busy (no down time) - watch and pray

Harmful peer pressure - out to test your Spiritual identity and integrity

Opportunity for promotion and blessings

God first - Pleasing God

 

BENEFITS OF RESISTING HARMFUL PEER PRESSURE:

Confirmed Spiritual integrity - God can depend on you

Victorious - inner satisfaction, overcome failure

Example/Pattern of good work

Make it known - proved to others that it is possible

Disappointment to Satan -

Investment for subsequent challenges - some others to win

Distinguished

 

HOW?

Make your calling and election sure - consistently

Deliberate Choice

 

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Strengthened Conviction and Faith: Resisting harmful peer pressure helps Christians solidify their convictions and deepen their faith, enabling them to stand firm in their beliefs.

    Ephesians 6:13: "Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

Developed Spiritual Resilience: Overcoming peer pressure aids in developing resilience and character, qualities that are vital for spiritual growth and maturity.

    Romans 5:3-4: "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope."

     - Resisting temptation strengthens character and leads to greater faith and hope in God.

Witness to Others: By standing up against negative influences, Christians become witnesses of faith, demonstrating to others the importance of following God's commands.

    Matthew 5:16: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

Protection from Spiritual Compromise: Avoiding harmful peer pressure safeguards Christians from compromising their values and morals, ensuring they stay aligned with biblical teachings.

 

7. Why didn’t God deliver the three Hebrew children from going into the furnace?

“Trials are instrumental in developing perseverance, leading to spiritual maturity and completeness. Trials produce perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Trials make us depend on God. He wants us to cling to him and find peace in him alone. Trials are a means of developing godly character.”

 

KEY POINTS:

God's supernatural purposes - more to the circumstances

God's mysterious ways to achieve best outcomes - not natural

God's greater agenda - you're part of the process, a part to play

God sees beyond the moment - greater matters at stake

Personal blessings - If you trust and wait

Edification of others - spiral effects

God's name glorified - most essential

You have a part to play - it won't be easy but possible

You're not alone - light through the tunnel, not only at the end

Blessed - when you let God and trust Him implicitly

Obey God - leave the consequences to Him, if any

 

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God’s Sovereignty and Purpose: Sometimes, God allows His followers to face trials and hardships to fulfill a greater purpose or to reveal His glory.

    Isaiah 55:8-9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Test of Faith and Character: Trials can serve as tests that build spiritual strength, resilience, and character.

    James 1:2-4: "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."

     - The experiences of the three Hebrew children illustrate that enduring trials can lead to spiritual maturity.

Witness to Others: By allowing them to enter the furnace, God provided a powerful testimony to others about His presence and power, ultimately leading to a revelation of His glory.

    Matthew 5:16: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

Divine Presence in Trials: God may not shield us from difficulties, but He promises His presence to sustain us through them.

    Isaiah 43:2: "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."

Ultimate Deliverance and Glory: God’s deliverance may not always be immediate or as expected, but it can come in forms that ultimately glorify Him, whether in this life or the next.

    Romans 8:18: "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

Faith in Adversity: The refusal of the three Hebrew children to bow down to the idol, even when facing death, is a testament to unwavering faith.

    Daniel 3:16-18: "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."

 

8. How is peer pressure experienced among church associates?

 

“ The problem of caving in to peer pressure can lead to compromise and an erosion of one’s character. We will never fit into this world of sin and corruption because in reality, we are ‘misfits,’ wanting to obey God rather than compromise to please others and this world."

 

KEY POINTS:

Theocracy - one God, rule, faith, practice, guidance

Good peer pressure - from those serving in truth and Sprit

Bad peer pressure - mixed multitudes or inside backsliders

 

KEY AREAS:

Sound doctrine (Walking with God)

Gospel guidelines (Ministerial Instructions)

Service (Work with God)

Consecration - all on the altar

Commitment - stakeholders or bench warmers

Availability - in season and out of season

Attitudes - general on Spiritual and church matters

 

TYPES OF PEER PRESSURE IN CHURCH:

Leadership peer pressure (administrative)

Workers peer pressure (ministerial)

Mentors peer pressure (influencers)

Individuals

 

TYPES OF CHURCH PEERS:

Devoted/Spiritual/Faithful, Caring, Respectful, Controversial, Eye-service, Unserious, Stingy, Unforgiving, Nagging, Politicians/Power broker, Sacrificial, Armchair critiques, Carnal, Unbelieving, Founding-right, Hypocritical, Zeal without knowledge, Part-time, Troublesome, Bench warmers, Rebellious, Diplomatic/no-stand, Silent worker, Unstable, Busy bodies...

 

LEVELS OF PEER PRESSURE IN CHURCH:

Individuals peer influence level

Groups peer influence level

Corporate influence level

 

You have the choice of where to belong - "This is the way walk..."

Choices have consequences

 

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Influence of Leadership: Church leaders can exert a significant influence on peers, and their actions can set a tone for the congregation. Positive leadership can establish a culture of integrity, while negative examples can lead to harmful peer pressure.

    1 Timothy 4:12: "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

 

Spiritual Intelligence: Know God and be wise

 

Learning to Discern Influences: Church associates need to develop discernment to recognize both positive and negative influences within the community and to choose their associations wisely.

2Thessalonians 3:6 Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us. whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world."

 

Romans 16:17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

 

Follow good examples: Know God and be wise

 Phillips 3:17 Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.

 

9. How can one effectively accept positive peer pressure among friends?

 

“The people you spend time with can have a huge impact on how you deal with peer pressure. Being around individuals who share your values and encourage positive behaviors makes it much easier to resist unhealthy pressures.”

 

KEY POINTS:

Humility, Vision, Mission, Purpose, Willingness - ready heart, Observe - eyes that see, Listen - ears that hear, Review - using Spiritual virtues, Learn/study

Ask - enquiries on know-how, Practice - applications of knowledge

Review your inputs and outputs

 

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Recognize and Embrace Positive Influences: Acknowledging the positive impact of friends who encourage spiritual growth or productive behavior is vital. Embrace these influences as a blessing from God.

    Proverbs 27:17: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."

Cultivate an Open Heart and Mind: Being receptive to the encouragement and challenges posed by friends can lead to spiritual and personal growth. An open heart allows one to appreciate constructive feedback.

    James 1:19: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."

Surround Yourself with Uplifting Friends: Actively seek friendships with those who model positive behaviors and share similar values. Strong friendships can lead to collaborative spiritual growth.

    1 Corinthians 15:33: "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."

Set Shared Goals: Engage with friends in setting common spiritual or personal goals, which creates a framework for accountability and mutual encouragement.

    Amos 3:3: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Share Experiences and Testimonies: Sharing personal experiences of how positive peer pressure has led to growth can encourage others and strengthen relationships.

    Revelation 12:11: "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death."

Practice Affirmation and Encouragement: Actively affirm and encourage friends when they promote positive behavior or make good choices. Your support can enhance their confidence and commitment.

    1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do."

Create a Culture of Accountability: Establish a mutually supportive environment where friends hold each other accountable for pursuing positive behaviors and achieving their goals.

    Proverbs 27:6: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

Pray for Guidance and Strength: Seek God's guidance in navigating friendships and accepting positive peer pressure. Prayer can provide strength and clarity in decision-making.

    Philippians 4:6-7: "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

 

10. Read Daniel 3:30. The end result of resisting harmful peer pressure was a promotion for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Is the end result always a promotion? Explain.

 

“Delayed gratification involves the skill of self-control and planning ahead. The ability to delay gratification isn’t just an interesting psychological quirk – it can have profound impacts on various aspects of life. Practicing delayed gratification can also help increase your overall confidence. Knowing that you can control your impulses and that you are completing all the steps necessary to make your goals a reality is truly a wonderful feeling.”

 

KEY POINTS:

You are the one profit - first partaker of your Spiritual integrity

Input - sowing good seed/deeds, investment

Output - reaction to your inputs, it begins with you

Nothing good comes easy - uphill task and efforts

Determination - deliberate and consistent

 

DYNAMICS OF THE END RESULTS:

Spiritual victory

Spiritual growth

Personal growth

Testimony

Experience acquisition

Integrity building

Capacity building

Investment for such a time as at when needed - due time

 

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Understanding That Not Every Outcome Is Immediate Promotion: While resisting peer pressure can lead to positive outcomes, it does not always result in immediate rewards or promotions. Sometimes, the consequences might be trials rather than recognition.

    James 1:12: "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

Promotion Is Not the Only Measure of Success: Spiritual growth and integrity should not be measured solely by promotions or visible rewards. The true success lies in obedience to God and maintaining one’s faith.

    Colossians 3:23-24: "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ."

God’s Timing Is Perfect: The timing of rewards or promotions is determined by God, and His plans may differ from our expectations. Trusting His timing can be challenging but is essential.

    Ecclesiastes 3:1: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

     - Recognizing that God has a timing for every event helps believers trust in His plan.

The Importance of Faithfulness Over Results: Faithfulness in resisting harmful peer pressure is what God desires, regardless of the earthly results. The integrity demonstrated by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego serves as an eternal example.

    1 Corinthians 4:2: "Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful."

 Eternal Rewards vs. Earthly Promotions: Often, the greatest rewards come in the form of eternal blessings rather than temporary promotions. Believers are encouraged to focus on spiritual rewards.

    Matthew 6:19-21: "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven..."

Witness and Impact on Others: Resisting harmful peer pressure can have a wider impact beyond personal promotion, such as influencing others or strengthening the faith community.

    Philippians 1:12: "But I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel."

 

CONCLUSION:

Handling peer pressure effectively requires a combination of discovering and establishing our identity in Christ, spiritual confidence, and assertiveness.

 

Know yourself: Understand your values, goals, and boundaries to make informed decisions.

Build confidence: Study the word of God and listen attentively to His voice to resist negative peer pressure.

Practice assertiveness: Learn to express your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully.

Seek positive influences: Surround yourself with spiritual supportive peers who encourage positive spiritual behaviors.

Develop resilience and resistance: Cultivate coping skills and learn from experiences to navigate future challenges. Each victory will help you some others to win.

 

Handling peer pressure is an ongoing process that requires effort, patience, and practice. It is not over until it is all over. Dare to stand alone, dare to make it known.